Cut It Out

I was making my way through High School and have most probably recently hit my sixteenth birthday, when my mom told me: "You have to stop over analyzing things." Granted, at that very stage in my life her concern was only aimed at my ability to be over-sensitive to whether the boy I currently had a crush on liked me back. But her words stuck to the far, dark corners of the not-yet-developed recesses of my mind. I suspect that the dormant wisdom of that statement found itself in a very lucrative and fertile environment back in those corners of my mind, and without any outside interference it developed, grew and matured to something that inevitably rooted itself in my subconscious. And doing what our subconscious mind does best, it worked it's way into my everyday life with the stealth of an experienced Top Secret Agent. At some point in time over the past eight years, I found myself changing the way I think about the things affecting my existence, my character and my very being. Or, to put it another way: I started thinking less, which resulted in me moving on much quicker. Okay, I have to confess, my over-analytical brain still sometimes takes over when it comes to the opposite sex, but in every other aspect of my life I've learnt to not take things too seriously. For instance, why on earth would I be bothered about whether or not a certain object is the new "It" thing to have; and as an extension of that, why would I be bothered if not having said "It" object causes people to look at me funny. Nowadays I notice their funny looks, or their judgement and immediately decide to move on and concentrate on more important (and fun) things. The Top Secret Agent I mentioned earlier didn't only change my thinking about what is important in life, it also gave me a manual; a "How To" guide for getting rid of the suffocating conformity that is very efficient in helping us lose our grip on who we are. It's rather quite simple. Every single on of us have come to a point in our lives where we realize we're not quite sure what our own likes and dislikes are anymore. Mainly because we analyze what other people say on such a dangerously deep level, that we forget that most of these opinions and behaviours don't have to have any effect on us. Here's what I do when I experience an "I've lost Wanda!!" histeria: I retrace my steps to a point in my life where I was happy with who I was; when looking in the mirror didn't automatically jumpstart a judgement session and where I smiled more easily. This helps me to realize the things and people that surrounded me at that time where the things and people I chose to have in my life, not because society dictated or I was emotionally bullied into it, but because I wanted it. Secondly, I get rid of stuff. Mostly this would be material things that, after careful consideration, don't represent who I am, but rather what I THOUGHT other people would want me to be, own, say or do. Obviously this doesn't just apply to material things, but also to emotions, characteristics and behaviours that are foreign to who you truly are. Lastly, once I've reached a place where I'm reintroduced to the "me" I like, I make a conscious decision to be careful about what will make it's mark on who I am in the future. Funnily enough, this process doesn't repeat itself too often anymore, because I'm not over-analyzing everything anymore; I've come to a point where I know what is worth delving into, and what is just a load of rubbish. So, take a scalpel, a lazer or a butcher's knife and cut out the useless, shallow opinions, influences and even people out of your life. You'll feel lighter, you'll run faster and you'll smile more.