Yesterday my boss kept asking "Why? Why? Why?" like a child. Eventually I told him to shut up and he laughed, saying that he can't tell his three year old to shut up, he'd have to come up with a better answer than that. Which, I guess, is probably true. But that reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend whom I haven't spoken to in a very long time. And even though it would have been much more enjoyable to have the conversation face to face, we made a pretty good effort over Facebook.
So, Deidre, you inspired this post, thank you for that!
Please understand that I can't hope to even remotely be in the same galaxy as Wisdom, but I've been through my fair share of "why?" moments. Let me tell you, they suck. A lot. And just because you hear of others that have gone through the same valleys, marshes, quicksand and fiery pits, doesn't mean it makes it easier for you. It's your pit and you're tasked with the wonderful mission of going through it. Yay.
But here's the thing, you are going through it. And do you know what the secret is? It's quite simple in my opinion (fine, simple is probably not the word you guys would use for the situation you're in, but I'm using it anyway).
Keep asking the questions; keep asking why; keep knocking at that door and don't stop...for anything. Do you want to know why? Of course you do. Do it, because the answers are coming. Like a tsunami raging through your questions, the answers will flatten them, make sense of them and rebuild them. It's the natural order of things. Just like life and death, a question has an answer, and that answer will come when you keep asking the question.
Again, I'm not saying it's going to be easy. You might be sitting there reading this thinking that you've asked the same question for 10 years, 15 years, 25 years and it still doesn't look like the answer is anywhere in sight. I know, it's horrible, and nothing I say will make the strain go away in the blink of an eye. But it gives hope and hope is a very powerful thing. As long as there is hope you are moving forward; and as long as you're moving forward you are moving in the direction of the answer.
Oh, and please don't get distracted by answers to other people's questions. I'm preaching to myself here. Seeing others getting their answers while you're still waiting in painful silence is not the easiest thing in the world. Everything inside of you rebels and you want to smash something because life is just unfair. I know...again...it sucks. But think about it, their answer was not made for your question. Your question is unique, therefore your answer will be unique.
So I ask you very nicely, please don't ever stop asking questions. Ever. The answers will come and they will be gloriously beautiful and perfect, because that's who you are.
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