Simple

I want to warn you right from the start that, if you're going to ask me "How long have you felt like this?", or "What do you want to do, then?", or "But what do you like doing?", or "Why does it take you so long to figure this out?", I'm either going to get irritated or just not give you an answer. Truthfully, I'm processing; this is my mode of processing.

A nagging feeling has existed inside of me for a long time. This feeling of uneasiness has plagued me and I don't think it's going to go away. My sister once described it as the 'runaway' feeling. Ever felt like that? Ever thought of just bolting through the door and running, and wherever you stop, you'll just decide to start again?

I have the 'runaway' virus permanently lying dormant inside of my system...I'm a carrier. It scratches on the inside, forcing me to wonder and believe that there is something much bigger and more interesting just outside my peripheral vision. This same feeling causes me to constantly look for something new, more exciting etc.

I know there are those of you out there that can relate. I just can't settle into a mediocre life. I do become passive, though, but my brain never stops.

This "Is there something bigger?" question was partially answered a couple of years ago when I attended the Hillsong Conference in London. Obviously God is the biggest and most fullfilling thing that I can be a part of. I know that and I will never NOT know it.

But today I'm sitting here wondering where my uniqueness fits in; where does my passions, interests and character find their perfect place? I haven't found it yet; I have a rough idea, but I'm still working on it, and I have no clue how long it's going to take.

The point is, I want to be all I can be, and do all I can do. Simple really.